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In today’s world, femininity is often perceived as pink dresses, a 7-step skincare routine, and floral-smelling perfume. When we see a woman with curly hair, a full face of makeup, and 2-inch heels, we think she is the definition of femininity. What if, however, the view that the Bible shows us of femininity is more about the inside beauty of a godly woman?
“You and I have the gift of femininity… the more womanly we are, the more manly men will be and the more God is glorified. Be women, be only women, be real women in obedience to God.” – Elisabeth Elliot
If God created women, we must look to God for the definition of women. The creator knows the creation best. When we say that each person chooses who they are, we are acting like God. A fish is not equipped to do the work of a bird, and a bird is not equipped to do the work of a fish. God created us women unique from men, with different physical attributes, thought processes, and emotional capacities. All of these attributes are given to us so that we can accomplish the plans God has for our lives. Plans that are different from men, but in a mystery-like way somehow complement men.
In a wedding, the bride is the one presented to the groom. Dressed in white and all done up, she walks down the aisle as everyone turns and admires the beautiful bride. Ephesians 5:25-27 says,
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.”
The world will try to tell you that you need to do everything a man does, but then you miss out on the unique calling God has created for you as a woman. Let’s dive into 5 characteristics of a biblically feminine woman that we find in God’s Word.
1. Has a Gentle and Quiet Spirit
In 1 Peter 3:3-4, it states,
“Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”
True biblical femininity is more about your inward appearance than your outward appearance. Our hearts should be meek and humble. This is a beauty that won’t fade over time. We can adorn ourselves with outward jewelry and garments, but if our hearts are not surrendered to the Lord and humble before him, we miss what God wants for our lives.
A quiet spirit does not mean we are not to talk. It does not mean we have to walk on eggshells or never share what is on our minds. God was the one who created our personalities and gave us each different gifts. However, we must not mistake our personalities for excuses not to change what God calls us to change. If your talkative personality gets you in trouble when you gossip about others or speak hurtful and sarcastic remarks, then God wants to do a work in your heart.
Our personalities are not bad in and of themselves! It is when we do not humble ourselves before God and have a moldable heart that it becomes sinful. God calls us to be controllers of our tongues, to speak only what is edifying and will build someone up. To have this wisdom, we must be meek and humble ourselves under God.
2. Fears the Lord
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”– Proverbs 31:30
What does it mean to fear the Lord? It can be hard to understand what it truly means so let’s look at scripture.
Luke 12:5 says “But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after your body has been killed, has authority to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him.” Without God, we are destined for hell. The consequence of sin is death and we are all guilty of sin. That should cause fear in our hearts! This is why today is the day to turn to Jesus, the Savior of the world (John 3:16)
For the believer, we don’t have to fear death and eternal life in hell. Jesus conquered death! When we are in Christ, we don’t have to fear death, but we do recognize the justice of God. The fact that God is just means there has to be a payment for our sins. The penalty for sin is death. Recognizing the weight of our sins helps us fear the Lord. Another part of fearing the Lord is having a deep respect for him. It’s seeing the sacrifice of his perfect son on the cross and being in awe that the God of the universe would send his son down to Earth to die for you and me. The Bible says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. When we as women fear the Lord, we desire to obey his commands. We desire to live a life in accordance to his will and commandments.
“To fear the Lord is to hate evil;
I hate pride and arrogance,
evil behavior and perverse speech.”– Proverbs 8:13
As author and missionary Elisabeth Elliot said in her book “Let Me Be a Woman,”
“The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman.”
As a Christian woman, you are called to live differently. As you fear the Lord, you are stepping into his calling of biblical femininity.
3. Is Modest
“I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.”
– 1 Timothy 2:9-10
In a world that promotes wearing skimpy outfits to get the male gaze, a biblical feminine woman is called to remember her worth in Christ and dress accordingly. What Paul is trying to get at in this message is the importance of inner beauty over outer beauty. Not to say we shouldn’t take care of our bodies and dress in a feminine way. Our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, and therefore we should take care of all aspects of it out of glory to God. But true beauty in God’s eyes is about the posture of our hearts.
If the way we dress ourselves is to catch the attention of men to our bodies, then we miss the mark. We also are called in the Bible to not cause someone to stumble (Romans 14:13). As a woman, this applies to modesty and the way we dress. This isn’t to say that there is a strict set of legalist rules each woman has to follow in what she wears. God provided us with creativity to express ourselves, but when our desire behind what we wear becomes idolized and not reverent to God, it is sinful. When we use clothes not as a beautiful covering, but as a way to draw attention to the naked parts of our body, it is sinful.
It is important to evaluate your heart in the way you dress. Ask God to reveal to you the depths of your heart and desires. Then ask him to convict you where he wants you to change. He is faithful to do so.
4. Displays the Glory of God Through Her Unique Design
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
– Ephesians 5:22-24
Part of our purpose here on Earth is to display the glory of God. One way we see this is a husband and wife’s role in marriage. Ephesians 5 states that the husband is the head of his wife just as Christ is the head of the church. The wife is to be submissive to her husband as the Church is to be submissive to Christ. Just as a husband is united with his wife, the Church is united with Christ.
As women, we play an integral role in displaying this picture! If we try to be everything a man is, we are trying to be Christ. God specifically designed us to represent the Church. To bring glory to God, we need to fulfill the role he designed us for. We can see through a woman’s physical body that God created us to create. No man on Earth can grow a baby. The growth of new life in the womb brings much glory to God! In a future blog post, I will go into more ways womanhood displays the glory of God.
5. Is Clothed with Strength and Dignity
“She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.”– Proverbs 31:25
When we are dressed in a piece of clothing, it covers us, it goes with us wherever we go. When we wake up, just like putting on our clothes, we are to put on strength and dignity. This is an adornment not for our outer beauty but for our inner beauty. This strength is a courage that comes from God, not us. It is NOT an “I can do it myself! Just watch me” kind of mentality. It is a reliance on the Lord to come through in our circumstances and within ourselves.
Other versions use the word “honor” in place of dignity. Here, honor and dignity represent living a life that glorifies God. A woman clothed in dignity has high moral values. She seeks to put off her old flesh and sinful ways and live in new life. (Ephesians 4:22-24). She gains honor by being gracious (Proverbs 11:16).
Biblical femininity is a gift. It’s time to embrace who you are in Christ as a woman. Let’s stop trying to be everything we were never created to be and live in God’s divine purpose for our lives.
By Grace Alone,
Rebekah Elizabeth
P.S. If you are looking for a great book about biblical femininity, I highly recommend “Let Me Be a Woman” by Elisabeth Elliot!
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