When I was in middle school I decided that I would become a Veterinarian when I grew up. I absolutely loved animals and so naturally thought I should become a Vet. That desire carried on into and throughout high school. I graduated high school and started my freshman year of college at Purdue University studying Animal Sciences. After a semester of Animal Science, I transferred to Finance. That’s all it took. This lifelong “dream” of becoming a Vet changed in one semester. It wasn’t because I decided I would probably not be able to take all of the surgeries and the gross parts of being a vet. I had worked at a vet clinic during my senior year of high school and was well acquainted with cleaning up guts, tissue, different substances, and even the occasional eyeball.
I realized a few things during that semester. One, there was no way I would want to become $100,000 + in debt. I didn’t have a strong enough desire for that. Two, though I loved animals and still do, I didn’t want my career to be all about animals. Even though I realized I would also be interacting with the owners, a greater desire to work in a job more directly related to people had formed in me more than in middle school and high school. As I looked at the other majors I could pursue, I realized there wasn’t really something I was drawn to. This was especially made evident when my advisor looked at me with a concerned face and said, “Normally I can tell when a student lights up a little while hearing about a potential subject they want to study. You are one of the few that I haven’t noticed anything.” As much as I wanted to see a major and be like “Yes! I want to study that” or at least have some interest, there was none. For the next 5 semesters, I skipped between 4 other majors. From Finance to Accounting to Agribusiness to Economics. The latter of which I absolutely despised. (Pro tip: Don’t study a major you strongly dislike. You would think that would be obvious HAHA, but for some reason, I still tried it out.
Isaiah 55:8-9 says,
“’For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,’
declares the Lord.
‘As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.’”
Trusting God When Life Doesn’t Make Sense
There will be times in life, as I am sure everyone has experienced, where no matter what we do, no matter how many questions we ask, life just won’t make sense. There will be times when the only thing you can do is just have faith and trust God. No matter how hard your mind is telling you to panic or to try to gain control. Even if everything in you says to freak out and scramble to try to figure it all out. Stop. Take a breath and just trust. When you don’t understand something it is OK because you are a daughter or son of the one who understands EVERYTHING.
We can’t know everything about God’s thoughts and ways because they are so much higher than our thoughts and our ways. We can’t even understand how great God’s understanding is. Instead of asking God “Why?” maybe it is best to say “God I know you are going to get me through this struggle. Show me how you want me to grow through this and make me more like you. I want to be like my Jesus. So even though I don’t understand the “why,” I will trust that your ways are perfect. I know this trial will make me more like Jesus and that is the best thing.”
“Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.” (Psalm 147:5)
His understanding has no limit. It is infinite. There is nothing God does not understand and he understands everything to a completely higher degree than us.
In Isaiah we see God reminding us just who he is. “I alone am God, The First and the Last. It was my hand that laid the foundations of the earth, my right hand that spread out the heavens above. When I call out the stars, they all appear in order.” When we doubt God and want to take matters into our own hands, look at what God is telling us. It was his hand that laid the foundations of the earth and spread the heavens. God created the very ground we are standing on. We would not be here if he did not will it to be.
Furthermore, Isaiah 40: 26-28 states,
“Look up into the heavens.
Who created all the stars?
He brings them out like an army, one after another,
calling each by its name.
Because of his great power and incomparable strength,
not a single one is missing.
O Jacob, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles?
O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights?
Have you never heard?
Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.”
Trusting God’s Wisdom: Finding Comfort in His Infinite Understanding
If you have any thought in your mind that God is not able. That he is not in control. That he is not powerful enough. On the next clear night go outside. Look up. Take in the incredible beauty. There is your proof. How great is our God!
Nothing happens in your life without first going through the hands of God. Lamentations 3:37 states “Who can command things to happen without the Lord’s permission?” The answer? No one. God is completely sovereign. That alone gives us comfort. That our God didn’t just create us and then stand on the sidelines watching everything pan out with no control over the matter. It is quite the opposite. God is involved in every single detail of our lives.
“For the life of every living thing is in his hands, and the breath of every human being.” (Job 12:10)
The next breath you take is dependent upon God. He is in control of that very next breath.
“So he will do to me whatever he has planned. He controls my destiny.” (Job 23:14)
Not only is he in control of a single breath. He is in control of your destiny.
To finish off the story, I eventually settled on good old Business Management. By “settled” I mean by the grace of God was accepted into that major. When I knew that Economics was not for me, I wanted to switch to Management but did not meet the minimum GPA. My advisor said that if I retook two classes over the summer and got a certain grade in each I would meet that requirement and be able to switch my degree. One of the classes was a Calculus class. I spent a fair amount of time studying for that class and going to the help room. The first exam rolled around and I thought I understood a good amount of the material. Turns out I didn’t understand even a fourth of what I thought I did. The second I left that exam I was pretty sure I had failed it. If I had, there was no way I could get accepted into Management unless I received an A+ in the Accounting class I was taking, which hoping for a B+ at best in that class was pushing it. The test was huge for me because I wanted to get out of Econ ASAP.
Grades rolled around, and I wish I could say that I passed the exam… but I didn’t. I ended up dropping the course after that exam and accepted the fact that I would stay in Econ.
However, at the end of the summer, I received my grade for my Accounting class. It was an A+.
Trusting God’s Higher Ways and Perfect Plan
If that doesn’t show that God’s ways are so much higher than mine, I’m not sure what will. I had forgotten how great God was. That is the grace of God right there. Me getting an A+ in Accounting? I never even considered it. It was honestly all God’s strength. My mind still can’t comprehend it. My thoughts were that I didn’t do well enough in Calc so there was no way I could transfer. God had a different plan and he was going to get me into Management, but not in the original way my advisor and I had planned it. He was going to do it in a way that showed his strength and brought glory to him.
So Remember this. God is with you. Right here. Right now. He is closer than your own heartbeat. He cares. His thoughts and ways are so much higher than yours. He knows your deepest needs before you even know them. He is faithful. He is in control. Trust him. Just be still and know that he is God.
By Grace Alone,
Rebekah Elizabeth
